I See More Clearly In The Dark
Vanessa Holyoak is a writer and artist. The image is a still from a video made in collaboration with Antoine Chesnais. They both live in Los Angeles. For more on their work, see www.vanessaholyoak.com.
By Vanessa Holyoak
The following passage is from I See More Clearly In The Dark, a short novel by Vanessa Holyoak chronicling the experiences of a character referred to only as “I” as she wanders a dystopian near-future. Her lover was taken a year ago as part of the “Resort Plan” — the government has decided to wipe out national forests to install brilliant, shiny, homogenous resorts in which citizens will be obliged to live under conditions of total illumination. The forest’s expansive darkness remains only as a memory and a haunting source of imagination.
…TO SNATCH AWAY FROM US EVEN THE DARKNESS BENEATH TREES THAT STAND DEEP IN THE FOREST IS THE MOST HEARTLESS OF CRIMES
In the dense, moist forest that had become my home, I was overcome by a sudden and violent sneeze — restored to my senses on the other side of the sneeze, I was struck by a novelty in the environment: trickles of light made their way between the foliage, graced the forest floor. So dim the rays were hard to qualify as light — they were closer to premonitions — but they did contrast with the otherwise pervasive darkness in which I had until now lingered willingly. I was unfazed: I walked, swam, danced, sang and felt otherwise vivacious and bustling. I knew that I wasn’t alone — the forest churned with a vigorous life lived out in secrecy, the beauty of the cool wet hushed and blistering as I trampled on, the thumps of my feet creating a rhythm that echoed off the other resonant lifeforms. I slipped effortlessly between the trees and branches, sticks sometimes catching in unexpected crevices in my body and creating a dull stinging sensation. The light now brushed up against the solid surface of everything without penetrating it. I began to fixate on the dappled patterns it was making on the leaves as they called me into a hallucinatory delirium that reeked of a bitter joy with no edges, holes, or contours.